Musings
by orangeorlemons
Summary: Sendoh's thought as he meets Rukawa in the latter's engagement party. Inspired by the song "The Bakery" from the Arctic Monkeys.


Songfic inspired by the song The Bakery, by the Arctic Monkeys. The song and of course the characters do not belong to me so don't sue. Merely using them for my own indulgence. Credit of the song to the Arctic Monkeys and SD characters to Takehiko Inoue.

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Sendoh sighed as he sipped on his drink. Sometimes, life really just seems cruel, he thought. Just when he have given up on his lost first love and decided to get involved with another, they just had to meet again.

Similarly hitched.

He sighed again as he discreetly stared at the beauty in front of him. Unknown to him, Rukawa had come back from his brief stint in the US, just when Sendoh had thought he'd never come back and gave up on him. What was even funnier was that they lived just on the opposite street from each other. Rukawa near the bakery, him near the post office.

Oh life, exactly what had he done to deserve this?

_I wish you would have smiled in the bakery_

_or sat on a tatty seatee_

_at a mutual friends gathering_

Rukawa has changed from the years they have not seen each other. Grown taller, and had his hair longer. Had he not stared longer and had they not been introduced, he wouldn't have known it was him.

He mentally laughed. Could that even be possible? His heart practically skipped a beat when those eyes stared back at him. All it took for him to know was those eyes. Rukawa could have had his face practically changed but Sendoh would still know it was him simply by looking at those blue eyes. Those same eyes where Sendoh had drowned several times. Those eyes where he fell in love.

_and the more you keep on looking_

_the more it's hard to take_

_love we're in stalemate_

_to never meet is surely where we're bound_

They've been sharing a few gazes through out the night and it was driving Sendoh to the edge, but he could never take his eyes away from Rukawa. He knew it was unfair, unfair to his date, unfair to Rukawa's and unfair to him but he couldn't do anything about it. He smiled sadly as he met Rukawa's gaze once more.

Rukawa did the same.

Now he know that the hot pricks in his eyes weren't his imagination anymore.

_I wish I would have seen you in the post office_

_well maybe I did and I missed it_

_too busy with the mind on clever lines_

Sendoh wondered just how they were able to not see each other up till now. Are their fates this messed up? He laughed again as he remembered a certain passage he has read and laughed at quite a few times. The very line that seemed to be mocking him now

_Star-crossed lovers _

That what was Rukawa and he has been.

_why not the rounders pitch or the canteen_

_you're slacking love were have you been?_

_just have to go and wait until tonight…_

Why couldn't they have met any other time? Why couldn't they have met earlier, anywhere? Why now?

Life really just had to be cruel

_to give me the invite_

_don't worry it's alright_

He was brought out of his musings when somebody called him out.

Of course it just had to be her.

"Anou, Sendoh-san here. We both wish you could come, right koi? I mean, it's not everyday that we see friends from high school. Nor everyday that we do this, " She said with that sweet smile on her face as she handed him a card.

It was one of the nicest card Sendoh had ever seen. It was white simple card, adorned with a few simple minimalistic design of two birds and a heart. Simple, yet elegant and beautiful.

Just like Rukawa, he thought.

He opened it to see what was written.

He smiled bitterly as he read the invite

"You are cordially invited to our wedding…"

Simple, yet elegant and beautiful, not to mention heart-breaking.

Yep, this card definitely screams Kaede Rukawa, he thought with a bitter laugh.

He looked over at the couple once more and forced a smile.

"Thanks for the invite. Won't miss it for anything." He said. He wanted to run away badly. He wanted to scream and shout how unfair life is. He wanted to rip the card into tiny pieces and burn it up. He wanted to cry his heart out.

He looked up at Rukawa once more, and their gazes locked.

And Sendoh knew he was rooted to the spot as long as Rukawa held his gaze.

_I wish I would have seen you down in the arcade_

_sippin' on a lemonade_

_in the paper cup and chewin on a straw_

And just like a bitch mocking him, all the memories he shared with Rukawa just came flooding him again. All the laughs and smiles, the one-on ones, and their afternoon trysts. The fights, their hung-ups and insecurities, the pain they've inflicted on each other. Every single thing he would've given the world just to have back again.

Every single thing the world seemed to be intent on never giving him again.

_and I wish I would have seen you in the bakery_

_but if I'd seen you in the bakery_

_you probably wouldn't have seen me_

He looked at Rukawa once more, once last time for the night, he thought, before he goes to weep bitterly. He memorized the contours on his face, his lips, his nose, the way his brows elegantly arch, his lashes and of course, his eyes. The eyes where he drowned before and where he'll die now. The eyes where he'll bury all his feelings for the boy. Let it be where his feelings find rest.

Why couldn't they have met again before all this? Before Rukawa met this girl.

Why couldn't they have met again and fell in love again?

More over, why couldn't they have just kept their relationship intact.

Why couldn't the have just let go of their prides and made up?

Why did they even have to fall in love in the first place?

He smiled at Rukawa for the last time.

'I wished I would have seen you in the bakery.' Sendoh quoted a song from one of their bands. To his surprise, Rukawa smiled at him and said

"But if I'd seen you in the bakery, you probably wouldn't have seen me"

They held gazes for neither knows how long throughout the night.

And no one would probably know, for both will never admit it out loud but they wished they really had seen each other earlier.

Back when they haven't given up on each other and what could have been.

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A bit pointless I know. Haha. But I dunno, my hands just itched to write it as I listened to the song. Uh, reviews appreciated?


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